![]() ![]() However, some people aren’t comfortable with asking for what they need, so doing something for them that you think will be kind and caring is sometimes the best avenue. What do you need from me? What can I do?’” she suggests. Schlosser says that rather than trying to read their mind, asking is often the best approach. “Say, ‘I know I can’t do anything to make this go away, I wish I could. ![]() No matter how well you know someone, it can be hard to know exactly what you can do to help them deal with a personal crisis. “Don’t make it all about you, by talking about times when you have been in the same situation, etc, unless you are specifically asked,” Clarke says. That you can accept them for who they are in this moment, even if they are sad,” Schlosser says.ģ. “ you’re there, that you can handle it, that you don’t need them to be happy or OK. ![]() Phrases like, “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now, “I know this is really tough for you and I just want you to know I’m here,” or even, “That sounds like it’s really hard, can you tell me more about it?” can help someone feel less alone in what they’re going through. Sometimes just receiving that is helpful for someone and it’s not realistic to expect them to give anything back to you at that time,” she explains. “We often think we don’t want to be intrusive, but really the worst that happens is you don’t get a response back. #Other words for running into someome how to#Schlosser says if you’re not sure how to express your support, a text, message or quick call is always going to be appreciated - even if you don’t receive a response. ![]() Send a text or call, but don’t expect reciprocation All feelings ebb and flow - we don’t stay ecstatic and we don’t stay sad,” she explains. Tal Schlosser adds that labeling or judging emotions as inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is unhealthy, because each of them serves a purpose - whether we find the experience enjoyable or not. “It’s healthier to acknowledge and name that feeling, and from that place let the feeling pass in its own time. “I think it’s also reasonable to say that we default to this response because we are partly motivated to reduce our own distress. It is extremely difficult to watch a loved one going through a tough time we may notice feelings of vulnerability, weakness, failure, and helplessness.” “Our tolerance for distressing or unpleasant emotions has been eroded such that we work hard not only to rid ourselves of them when they show up, for example by putting on a brave face, but we can feel compelled to ‘fix’ others,” she says. Janine Clarke, Psychologist at Mend Psychology and The Sydney ACT Centre, there are six ‘basic,’ universal emotions - sadness, anger, disgust, fear, happiness and surprise - and we’ve been conditioned to perceive happiness as the only one worth pursuing. Part of the motivation to cheer people up is tied to how society typically views emotions. According to Dr. In fact, we can feel even worse about the fact we can’t just snap out of it.” “We have the feelings we have and someone saying, ‘Don’t worry about it’ doesn’t make it go away. “It can feel quite isolating or even invalidating when someone is trying that ‘Cheer up’ approach, or comparisons like, ‘It’s not so bad, look at the people who have it so much worse’,” explains Tal Schlosser, Clinical Psychologist at My Life Psychologists. However, while this response is well-intentioned and feels like the right thing to do, it’s not necessarily going to be beneficial for the person who’s struggling. When you see someone you love going through a sad time, it’s only natural to want to cheer them up or try to fix whatever is causing them distress. ![]()
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